Find the best quotes by Woody Allen.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .
Right now it’s only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into…
Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
It’s not that I’m afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
I don’t think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
It is impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune.
The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
Most of the time I don’t have much fun. The rest of the time I don’t have any fun at all.
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
I don’t have to ‘freedom-kiss’ my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
I’ve never been an intellectual but I have this look.
Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
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