W. C. Fields
Find the best quotes by W. C. Fields.
W. C. Fields
I never met a kid I liked.
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
Never give a sucker an even break.
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
I drink therefore I am.
I don’t know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
On the whole, I’d rather be in Philidelphia.
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
Show me a great actor and I’ll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you’ve seen the devil.
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