Find the best quotes by Artie Lange.
You know you’re on stage being the life of the party and trying to get laughs, and then, in a lot of ways, you don’t…
When you’re an adult, when times are good, entire years go by in what feels like the space of one season. But the worst trick…
When you did impressions on ‘MADtv,’ the producers gave you a Walkman that played huge sections of whatever movie was being parodied, with your character’s…
When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor…
Unlike a lot of comics, I didn’t care about getting on ‘Saturday Night Live.’ That show had such history and was so established that I…
Richard Lewis is the master at taking a joke that he’s told a million times in a row in the past year, on the road,…
Richard Lewis has this incredible ability to look like he’s just… you know it’s an act that’s been honed. What you have to do in…
Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get…
I’m like the master of ceremonies being funny, and then sometimes people you’re with, girlfriends and stuff, are like, ‘God I wish I had the…
I never went through a period were I wanted to be a doctor, a cop or even a rock star. All I wanted to do…
I got cast on ‘MADtv’ as one of eight permanent cast members chosen from 8,000 comics who’d been screened. For any comic trying to make…
And now it looks like I’m probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote. I got the money to do it, and I would…
Woody Allen stayed so good because he never left New York. Howard Stern stayed so good because he never left New York – Mel Brooks…
The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo…
Only when you’re in that ditch, lying there in the muddy runoff you’ve made of your life, gazing up at the peak you fell from,…
My father was a really good athlete, so his pop-ups really were sky high. Eventually I learned how to judge them properly and catch them…
It’s weird because standup can be like therapy. Comedians can’t be satisfied with just having fun with our friends. We’ve got to figure out a…
Comedians, we’re just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine. Like, if Jerry Seinfeld wasn’t funny, you’d want to punch…
Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
To tell you the truth, there are all these websites predicting my early death, and it’s starting to work on me!
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