Find the best quotes by Jay Leno.
Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they’re getting back together. You know what that means? There’s still hope for Ike…
You aren’t famous until my mother has heard of you.
The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they’re all lining up.
My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic?
The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it.
The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow ‘Operation Re-elect Bush’ doesn’t seem to be popular.
If I have one advantage, it’s that I will try to work harder than the next guy.
If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.
If God doesn’t destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.
Nineteen percent of doctors say that they’d be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the…
Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good ‘ol days when only qualified people ran…
In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we’re doing anonymously.
I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for ‘Running off to Canada.’
According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his…
I didn’t realize it was October until I saw the Chicago Cubs choking.
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at…
Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff, he called Bush evil, the Great Satan, called him a…
People don’t mind if you have a lot of money if they know you’re working for it.
If you don’t want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.
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