Find the best quotes by Jay London.
I was born nine months premature.
People read me but they don’t subscribe.
After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride… it’s…
I model irregular clothing.
Does anybody know what I’m doing up here?
My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.
I wanted to join the Army the sign said ‘Be All That You Can Be’, they told me it wasn’t enough.
Do you know it was a year a ago today?
A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.
Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.
A guy gave me a job at an information booth – no questions asked.
I went to a urologist – he told me I could go at any time.
You know what burns me? Matches.
I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.
My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.
My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.
I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.
They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I’m more concerned about the adults.
I went out with a promiscuous impressionist – she did everybody.
I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back…
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