Find the best quotes by Demetri Martin.
I love catching a snapshot of something that is just about to happen. Or maybe something that just happened, you know. But I like especially…
I’d love to win trophies, be in movies, have a body of work I’m proud of and find a way to enjoy it along the…
But long story short, I didn’t start doing stand-up because I wanted to have a TV show or be an actor or even wanted to…
I like stand-up. But I’d also like a family and house and a yard. I want to work with a lot of people, have colleagues;…
Usually, my favorite joke is whichever joke I most recently came up with that surprised me the first time I thought of it.
People only have so much attention.
Nothing wise was ever printed upon an apron.
Let no man’s deathbed be a futon.
As a creative person, you want to have a foothold and sense of progress.
I went to law school. I found it interesting for the first three weeks.
I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
As a comic, I think I’m very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I’ve written or thought up and how I say…
It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.
I just know keeping track of what I’m doing and where I’m going is important to me.
I have fun acting, and I want to do more of it, and I want to direct my own movie.
I think it’s interesting that ‘cologne’ rhymes with ‘alone.’
Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.
I didn’t do improv in college, I never performed, I didn’t do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major.
I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said ‘Guess’.
I’ve often liked a girl, made her laugh, and thought she liked me, and then found out that she didn’t like me that way. I’ve…
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