Find the best quotes by Groucho Marx.
Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!
Wives are people who feel they don’t dance enough.
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Go, and never darken my towels again.
Why should I care about posterity? What’s posterity ever done for me?
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
I didn’t like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions – the curtain was up.
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Why, I’d horse-whip you if I had a horse.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Either he’s dead or my watch has stopped.
Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows – marriage does.
I won’t belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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