Find the best quotes by Robert Orben.
What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.
The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
I got a Valentine’s Day card from my girl. It said, ‘Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!’ Which is just like her.…
More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.
Do your kids a favor – don’t have any.
Washington is a place where politicians don’t know which way is up and taxes don’t know which way is down.
Spring is God’s way of saying, ‘One more time!’
Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?
Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
Don’t think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.
If you can laugh together, you can work together.
There are days when it takes all you’ve got just to keep up with the losers.
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight,…
Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.
Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it’s filled with wisdom. Sometimes it’s filled with feet.
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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